Muckmedden

Rewind twelve months ago, and after three scorching weeks of rooster-tailing down hardpacked trails, we are back in the grip of constant rain.  The Mucky Crew and I are in the forest weekend after weekend improving the drainage at the boggiest parts of the course, building causeways and trimming gorse and branches in time for Muckmedden.  I have slowly morphed into the haunted love child of Uncle Fester and Ronnie Corbett as the organisation process takes its toll on my model-like appearance.

So here we are in April 2013, the boyish good looks are back and there are TWO brand spanking new Muckmedden events to get excited about this year.  I’ve also planted the seed for a night race in Highland Perthshire early in 2014 which has provisionally been given the green light!  How nice.

Anyway, back to 2013 and the first event to happen will be The Eliminator, that’s Eliminat-OR if you’re American…..

If you don’t know what The Eliminator is click here for a full description: http://www.muckmedden.co.uk/the-eliminator/

The date is still to be set in stone, but it’s looking increasingly like July 27th and 28th due to a number of factors.  Firstly we have to avoid as many other MTB races and local events as possible (not easy), and avoid clashing with the schools starting back after the summer hols.  Even more importantly than this though, the barley for the Crazy Crops slalom has to be ripe enough to be high and mighty so it flows in the wind and riders can carve their way down a bit of a tunnel to the finish, but not so ripe that it droops over and gets in the way.

The Crazy Crops slalom had to be marked out and logged on GPS and paper before the field was ploughed, as we can’t go onto the field without wrecking the crops once they’ve grown.  Once the barley has grown, we’ll only get one chance to mark out the course for the race, so we spent hours marking different slaloms with pin flags, riding it, moving the flags and sessioning it until we felt we had the perfect blend of rhythm, speed and flow.  Who the Muck would have thought riding a bike in a field could be so scientific?!

As well as all this “fairmery” stuff, we’ve been recceing the site for parking, camping, entry and exits, and figuring out the best uplift route to get the bikes to the top of the hill.  After all that it was time to work out how long an average run would take, how many riders the course can handle, how long an uplift takes, how many riders can be uplifted at the same time, how many runs everyone will get in a set amount of time, how to work out different race categories………..blah, blah Muckin’ blah.

Tune in next time for a thrilling update on risk assessments, Sites of Special Scientific Interest, figuring out entry costs, catering, portaloos and showers and arranging suitable insurance.

Do you really care about all this stuff?  Please say you don’t because your job as a Mucker is to turn up with your bike/mates/family/life-partner, throw yourself down a big hill a few times (not literally I hope), have the craic at your tent in the evening and generally enjoy a chilled out weekend.  And who knows, if it all goes well you might win something at the end of it!

After recovering from The Eliminator it’s time to get ready for THE BIG CHEESE, THE DON, THE BIG YIN - it’s Fair City Enduro.

I’m in “Top Secret” negotiations with Morrocco Media and some of the wildlife organisations about a massive, hairy badger at the moment, the reason will hopefully become clear in the Spring – keep ‘em peeled Muckers!  Other points of interest are small people riding tiny bikes through the back of a van – or was that one a dream? Gareth Christie has also agreed to design some posh new logo’s for each event which will no doubt be as brilliant as all the artwork he did for Muckmedden last year.

If I’m honest, it’s these things I find the most enjoyable out of the whole organisation process, the race is for everybody else to enjoy while I just freak out until it’s over.

Fair City Enduro takes place on Halloween week, so it would be fantastic to have as people in fancy dress as possible, including marshals, riders and spectators.  I want to see Osama Bin Laden pulling a no-hander on the big tabletop on stage 3, and Ghandi sticking it up the inside of Maggie Thatcher at turn one…..maybe not that second one actually, but come on, who wouldn’t want to be ushered into the car park by a fat Lady Gaga?

The next few months will be spent conducting risk assessments, arranging insurance, forming site evacuation plans, trail-building and finalising sponsors for each event before the posters and flyers are put together and the website is updated.  I’ll be looking to book a park & ride shuttle bus to take spectators from the South Inch hub up to the forest and back, arranging on-line entry for both events, designing the “Special Stage” with the SMBC……………

Sorry I forgot you’re not interested in any of this, but it’s been good therapy for me.

Thanks for not listening Muckers!

Forgive me Muckers for I have sinned, it’s been two months since my last blog, but basically I’ve just been Muckin’ busy!  Since my last outpouring of drivel I’ve had a nice sunshine holiday, bought a new van after my old one went on strike and committed myself to organising a massively exciting but mildly terrifying mountain bike event that starts and finishes in a major city.

The mildly terrifying event I refer to is Fair City Enduro, which is now confirmed for October 26th and 27th 2013.  I’ll be a bit sparse with the details as there are some more of the dreaded “sites of special scientific interest” on the proposed course (no newts this time though) but all you need to know is it’s definitely happening, it is going to be an absolutely superb day on the bike and when entries open you need to enter.  That’s all you need to know.  Goodbye.

More?  Och, ok then.

Fair City Enduro is a multi-stage event which will take place in Scotland’s ”Fair City” of Perth.  If you have never been to Scotland’s newly crowned city, it is one of the most desirable places in the UK to live, owing partly to it’s rich history, beautiful architecture, a plethora of art galleries and fine eateries, a low crime rate, easy access to some of Scotland’s most stunning countryside and one of the best mountain bike events on the planet (I added that last bit).

It’s for this reason (and because I may or may not have been drinking gin) I thought I’d try to organise a mountain bike race/event that started and finished in the heart of this beautiful city and took in some of the best trails in the area.  Not just any old race though, it had to be a multi stage Enduro after taking part in the fantastic Dudes of Hazzard/No Fuss Enduro in Kinlochleven at the end of last year.  It struck me that this is the kind of race that’s most like a regular ride for most mountain bikers.

After having your bike checked to make sure it wasn’t going to fall apart, you could wait for your buddies and amble to Stage 1, enjoying the climb (if that’s possible) knowing the clock didn’t start ticking until you dib in at the top of the stage 1.  Waiting in the queue with the other entrants, you had plenty of time to take in the amazing views, and let the adrenaline build whilst watching the other riders set off on their run.  Riders left at roughly 30 second intervals and you rode as fast as you dare down some truly monumental trails (with the emphasis on the “mental” bit).  A full day out riding with your mates, with the timed sections being pretty much 90% downhill.  Perfect!

The other great thing about Enduro is that you have to ride to the stages, so doing it on a downhill bike in full body armour is not the way to go unless:  A) You are clinically insane.  B) A Sado- Masochist.  C) Really cold.  D) A really cold Sado-Masochist who happens to be a bit insane.  Instead, regular trail bikes and all-mountain rigs are the order of the day, which is perfect for people who, like myself don’t possess a DH bike but still enjoy blasting down hills as fast as they can.

As it stands, Fair City Enduro has three timed forest stages and a “special-stage” (nobody knows why it’s so special, it just is).  One stage is mostly downhill, singletrack with some pedally flat sections and a wide open “freeride” section, one stage is rooty and more technical with some lovely jumps, berms and drop offs and is pretty much downhill all the way, and the other one is an absolute riot of brake-cooking, high speed singletrack with steep chutes, foot-out corners and Alpine-style switchbacks.

If you regularly use words like “stoked” and ”awesome” and you display in excess of 3 inches of your undercrackers above your skinny jeans, you’re probably sold on Fair City Enduro already, it’s definitely for you.  However, if you’re more inclined to use words like “chuffed” and pride yourself on how manly your beard is (I’m looking at you too ladies), you could well be put off by the Enduro tag.  Don’t be, you have my personal guarantee that Fair City Enduro is the perfect event for all who love riding good trails whether you are a pro or just your average mountain biker.

Words to associate with Fair City Enduro are: skills, thrills, hills, spills, fun, sun, won (if you won), grins, bins, fins (if you’re a fish), muck, (I can’t think of anything to rhyme with muck) I’m sick of this game now but you get the idea, it’s going to be pretty good.  So keep an eye on this website for when entries open, subscribe to updates and book your place for probably the only mountain bike race in Scotland that starts and finishes in a major city.

I can see it now; you and your mates go away for a mountain biking weekend with a twist.  For a change you’ve got a huge choice of decent accommodation, restaurants galore, nightclubs, pubs, the cinema, all the shops and amenities you’d expect in a city, a top drawer skate-park and great trails on your doorstep?  Oh yes, this IS the mountain bike event you’ve been looking for……

Seasons greetings Muckers!

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I made a mess of Gareth Christie’s lovely artwork by drawing a Santa hat on Mad Mick Muckmedden.

By this time last year, entries for Muckmedden had been open for two weeks, and the reality was kicking in that this was now a real event that people were paying to enter, and I had to try not to Muck things up.  No turning back now Cake Boy.

This year, things are much less frantic, but  it feels like this could be the calm before the Muckin’ Storm.

You see, a lot has been happening in the background over the last few weeks at Muckmedden Castle. I’ve been emailing, phoning, enquiring, and convincing myself it’s a good idea to do all this again, so I’ve submitted outline plans and course maps for two, brand-spanking new events.  I won’t go into too much detail at the moment, as there’s a long way to go, but I’ll give you a few teasers to capture your imaginations in the hope that they’ll both happen.

First event - which will be held in August all going well - is going to be in Fife, on a hillside where nobody rides……yet.  Racing will be on Saturday, with camping and a party afterwards, that way most people won’t have work the next day, and can kick back with a beverage and enjoy the evening.

Key words for this event are;  Fun, dual-track, head to head, grassroots, spectator friendly, downhill, family friendly, relaxed atmosphere, slalom, flowy, fun, singletrack, beautiful views, music, camping, party, kids race, fun.

Second event – which will be held at the end of October in Perth should be a biggy.

Key words for this event are; Spectacular (possibly), Enduro, fun, urban, forest, bike park, live video feed in city centre (I’m still working on that one!),  flowy, fun for all abilities, singletrack, beautiful views, high-speed, chilled out, fun.

I’m sure there’s a theme running through both of these events, oh that’s it, fun, fun, fun!  And why not, it’s why we ride and what keeps us heading out when it’s been raining for weeks on end.  Good job too living in Bonnie Scotland!

So, I’ll leave it at that for now, with the events of Muckin’ future making your curiosity gland explode in anticipation.

Instead here’s a fabulous taste of event’s Muckin’ past.

Here is the tremendous, tongue in cheek, edit of Muckmedden 2012.  Filmed and edited by Stefan Morrocco (Morrocco Media), with graphics and credits by Gareth Chistie (Digital Artist), it’s nothing short of Muckin’ Brilliant.  Alternatively, if you’ve got a Muckin’ T-Shirt, you can just scan the QR code on the front with a Smartphone, and it will take you straight to this video, modern technology eh!?

If you weren’t at Muckmedden, look at what you missed!

Hello Muckers, I hope you’re all well and have enjoyed what is being billed as; “Summer 2012″.

It’s been a very long time since I typed some drivel, and after quite actually months away from the keyboard, riding my own bike, having a life and consuming my own body weight in cake, I’m bursting for a Blog, so let’s get right down to the nitty gritty here.  No messing about.  Let’s wade straight in wi the boot.  In terms of the weather,  this summer’s been a pile of dirty pants….on toast.  Three weeks before Muckmedden, we were blasting around the dusty trails in Pitmedden whooping and hollering and getting home cleaner than when we left.

Then it came……British Summertime.

For those of you lucky Muckers who decided to come to Muckmedden either to watch, or ride, you’ll know the forest was rather muddy on the day, due to the three weeks of constant rain which lead up to race day.  I can vividly remember standing with the Mucky Crew under a lone gazebo as we set up for race day, sheltering from some pretty hefty raindrops, and being asked how bad the weather had to get before we cancelled the event.  I honestly wasn’t sure, and then on the Sunday the sun came out and everybody had a rare old time, despite the mud.

So, here we are seven months on, and it’s my favourite time of the year – Autumn.  After the wettest summer in human memory, the trails in Pitmedden haven’t been this dry since Spring!  We had no idea at the time how lucky it was to have the sun make an appearance on April 22nd, with so many events having been cancelled this Summer due to bad weather.

Which leads me to the Bad News:

Pitmedden is a cracking place to ride, but a few sections of trail are a bit tired a bit after being ridden constantly throughout the “Rainy Season”.  They need time and effort to avoid them being wrecked for the people who ride Pitmedden regularly (I’m one of them), so despite the event being a great success (thankfully) I’m afraid to say Muckmedden won’t be returning to Pitmedden – at least not for 2013 anyway.  Hiiiiisssssss!!!!!  Boooooooo!!!

Which leads me to the Good News:

I’m in the early stages of hatching a cunning plan to hold an MTB event in Perth – Scotland’s newest city.  The Fair City just happens to be surrounded by quality trails – which is handy, it’s also fantastically central and easily accessed from most of Scotland and beyond.  Perth has all of the amenities you’d expect to find in a City, including plenty of good bike shops, accommodation, bars, restaurants, nightclubs and Farmfoods, making it a great place for a weekend away even once the bike has been packed away.

So, now that I’m wearing my rose-tinted testicles and I’ve forgotton about all the stress, hard work and coldsores Muckmedden caused me, let’s think BIG for 2013.

Key features of my imaginary “Muckmedden Comes To Town – Return of The Muck” (working title) would be a mass-start from the City Centre, multi-stages to favour different types of rider from Demon Descenders to Killer Climbers and Dirt Jumpers, a bucketload of fantastic trail riding, with long, singletrack descents (each at least 20 miles long with no pedalling) and an urban stage (that preferably runs past Stephens the Bakers) to the finish line back in the City Centre.  All of this will of course be streamed live onto 700 metre high screens in the city, where Barack Obama will be waiting to hand out the prizes to the winners.

Muckmedden 2012 started off as a daydream during piece time at work, evolved over 12 months as some of the sharp edges were worn down, until it came out of the other end as an actual event.  Hopefully, this will be the same process with “Muck in The City - Perth Gets Dirty” (working title number 2) and we’ll see something real next Autumn.

But no matter which bits of the dream turn into a reality (let’s hope the Stephen’s the Bakers bit comes true), the main rule will be the same as Muckmedden 2012 - just enjoy riding your bike of choice on great trails.

Keep you posted Muckers!!